Why Call Asheville Marriage Counseling?

Do you know in North Carolina any licensed counselor is permitted to offer marriage or couple’s counseling – without any additional or specialized training? So, it’s quite common for counselors to “add” ‘marriage and relationship counseling to their services.

But, marriage or relationship counseling is a different animal from individual counseling… and being an effective individual counselor doesn’t automatically transfer to being an effective couple’s counselor.

Asheville Marriage Counseling Works Exclusively with Couples and Relationship concerns.

Using a relationship counseling specialist is something like seeing a medical specialist compared to a family doctor. Your GP can diagnosis a wide variety of illnesses and treat many. But, dealing with so many different concerns they’ll know the basics in many areas, but they’re not an expert in most areas. So, they make a referral when expert treatment is required.

For counselors those lines aren’t quite so clear.

While all counselors have an ethical responsibility to only offer counseling in the areas they are competent, many counselors offer marriage / relationship counseling without any specialized training. I believe it’s usually done sincerely; but with some counselors simply being unaware how much more effective couple counseling can be with a therapist who works exclusively with relationship issues.

Like the specialists in medical treatment, seeing clients only for marriage and relationship issues lets me dedicate all my attention, continuing education, and professional reading to improving my skills in this one area.

I began my career as a counselor when I was a young pup of 22 – waaaay back in 1974. It’s been my only profession. Over my career I’ve occasionally been recruited into supervisor and/or administrative roles, but always in the mental health field. The last 24 years I’ve had a private practice in Asheville, NC.

Ah so, what can I say?   I’m getting to be an old-timer.

I’ve done ‘good work’ throughout my counseling career. But, I know I’m now the most skillful and effective counselor I’ve ever been… partly because of seeing a couple thousand clients over the past 45+ years. And learning from each!  All else being equal…. experience matters.

The ’50 Minute Session’ is a tradition in counseling dating back over 100 years. But, it’s a lousy arrangement for effective couple’s counseling.

That’s why all my couple’s sessions are scheduled to be 75 minutes, which gives you nearly 50% more actual counseling time every month than with 50 minute sessions.

If a 50 minute session is sufficient to address the needs of one individual…. how can it also be sufficient for addressing the concerns of 2 individuals AND the interactions between them?

In my experience, it simply isn’t. Too often a 50 minute session ends with a client feeling incomplete, rushed, or cut off abruptly as the time has run out.  And it’s frustrating for me too, knowing we could have gotten further with more time.

I currently work with no more than 10 couples at a time.  So, why would you care how many clients I see?

For a relationship therapist, a major difference from individual counseling is every ‘client’ is actually 2 people… each with their own personality, different ways of understanding information, and their own personal story.

So for each couple I see there are 2 people I want to know at depth, grasp their pressing concerns, uncover how they’ll get the most from counseling, and keep up with their progress.

It’s something like a TV drama where characters have individual stories running throughout the season. There’s a limit on how many dramas you can watch and really keep up with all those different stories lines. And it’s the same with counseling.

Neuroscience research indicates there’s a limit to the number of close and caring relationships humans can maintain at one time.   Since counseling requires a deep caring and active engagement with you… this means there’s a limit on how many couples I can be seeing and still give you each my best counseling.

For me, that number  is 12 – 15 couples. Therefore, I have generally limited my counseling to no more than 12 couples at any time, to be sure all my clients receive my best focus and effort in assisting them. That was the maximum number of couples I’d see at one time for many years. As I’m winding down my professional life and reducing my ‘work days’, I now meet with a maximum of 10 couples at one time.

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The average level our clients’ satisfaction with their couple counseling sessions has been over 90% each month between 2015 when we began getting feedback at every session and 2020 when in person sessions were suspended due to COVID 19.

Of course, that doesn’t mean I never get an evaluation below 90% from individual clients or a particular session. It’s common for new clients to have lower levels of satisfaction the first few weeks as I’m getting to know them. And there certainly are sessions when a client doesn’t like something I’ve said or done…  resulting in lower ratings that day.

But that’s exactly what the session evaluation is for – to let me know when this happens, so I’m able to quickly discuss the concern with you and we can make adjustments.

[details on how this is calculated can be found here – or you can ask me to describe the process in our consultation. Please note: There is no data for 2020 – present, as not being in the office with clients has hampered the ability to get this immediate feedback.]

Pulling together 2 peoples schedules is a challenge – and with couple counseling we need to coordinate 3 people’s schedules. It’s often difficult for couples to both get free for regular daytime appointments

So, I currently offer three 4:30 appointments and two 6:00 appointments each week. This allows 5 “later appointments” each week – enough for half of my clients, if needed. (Sometimes none are being used, sometimes I have more than 2 wanting a 6:00 appointment. It’s been totally unpredictable.)

There’s no added cost for these ‘outside of business hours’ appointments, but I do give priory to clients who can commit to using the same evening time slot for several weeks.

I understand counseling is an expense… and usually not something that planned for or “in the budget”. Sometimes insurance can help, although most insurance companies routinely decline marriage counseling as not being ‘medically necessary’.

Also, to be eligible for insurance reimbursement usually one person must be the ‘identified patient’ and assigned an eligible mental health diagnosis (becoming a permanent part of their medical record); and then the insurance company expects all counseling to be focused on that condition. The majority of my couples don’t meet criteria for a legitimate clinical diagnosis, especially for doing couple’s counseling.

So, I don’t participate with any insurance plans.

But, I do want my clients to get the best counseling I can provide – and be able to afford it – even without insurance.

I’ve evolved to have a payment system that can provide high quality counseling at a reasonable and predictable cost and keep my practice solvent. We can cover the details in our consultation, but basically it provides 3 couples sessions (75 minutes) and 2 individual sessions (50 minutes) each month. Using this approach and having one payment made at the beginning of each month allows me to reduce the standard ‘per session rates’ to a flat rate of $675 a month for those 5 sessions, compared to $900 if payed on a week by week basis.

It’s by using this monthly approach I’m able to offer my services at 25% less than my standard per session rates. If some month you need an additional session – it’s also reduced 25%. The lowered rates are continued when we start winding down and having fewer sessions per month, although at a slightly smaller savings percentage.

Just for some comparison. If you break down the total counseling time each month into standard 50 minute sessions, you get the equivalent of 6 1/2 sessions each month at a ‘per session cost’ of about $110 per full 60 minute hour.

I knoq thiasw might be little confusing, but I’m happy to go over it in a consultation and provide all new clients with detailed information on how it works.

I hope you, like my current clients, will conclude that’ offers a good value for couple’s counseling with a relationship specialist bringing five decades of experience to your sessions.

Please note:  In person sessions are available only on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays. My first appointments each day time start at noon.

My office is located right at the intersection of I-240 and Charlotte Street on the east edge of downtown Asheville. No need to deal with local traffic – I’m 1 minute off 240. There’s also free parking available in the building’s parking lot.

Although the building is 100 years old and a bit shabby, the Asheville Marriage Counseling suite offers you a comfortable and private waiting room for your appointments.<br>